Not Into Christmas Movies? Watch One of These Awesomely Bad Movies this Holiday Weekend

It’s going to be a nice long holiday weekend. If you and yours aren’t super into Christmas movies you should sit around with family and riff on these awesomely terrible classics.

Stone Cold (1991)

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
Don’t buy the hype from those who criticized this movie without watching it. Those “critics” will like for nothing better than to watch non-stop episodes of Ally McBeal and various LIFETIME channel programming.

If you enjoy watching action movies, Stone Cold is a must see. It’s a rare find where the bad guys win – most action films fall short in this category, where predictable HOLLYWOOD endings have now become the norm. The story is simple, stunts are first rate, acting is good, and the plot twists are fun.

Stealth (2005)

Jessica Biel and a Incubus soundtrack, count me in!

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
…there are two kinds of people… and we both seem to have different reasons for watching HD. Now, this does take for granted that we are reading Blu-ray only reviews for the Blu-rays but it appears, that is not what is going on…might be wrong about that. That matter aside. If you watch HD for the pure aesthetic rush of beauty, color and definition then “Stealth” is awesome. It’s my kind of movie. It removes me from my 65 year life and into clouds and depths of vision that are exciting and awesome. Some of the plots, one would assume, might leave a bit to be desired, but “my kind” could care less.
If you are looking for depth of plot and things to discuss at a soiree then read the reviews and stop moaning about how bad they are and just don’t watch them.

Ernest Goes to Jail (1990)

Who can argue with the following?

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
This is an excellent movie for the traditional “Ernest” fan!! So funny! “I came, I saw, I got blowed up”

Over the Top (1987)

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
Over the top is such an emotionally moving film. The music that runs throughout the entire movie just adds to the effect. If someone is looking for the most inspirational speech in the history of mankind, then look no further than the scene right before the final arm wrestling match between Hawk and Bull Harley. Stallone emotionally explains how he becomes like a machine, or more specifically a truck, by simply turning his hat backwards. I watch this scene every morning to keep me going. This movie did not have enough white guys with perms in it, though.

Gamer (2009)

How the hell did this even get made?

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
G-BUTTS KILLS ALL!!! Basically King Leonidas did not die at the Battle of Thermopylae he was rescued by Mr. Peabody and Sherman and strapped to the WABAC and sent to the future to join Army SF, impregnate a hot chick who whores herself out on a weird real life SIMS on acid game controlled by a perfectly case actor for the Blob in X-Men, get separated and framed for a murder then sent to battle in an FPS version of Running Man meets Hunger Games meets 300 if 300 wasn’t 300 but another movie where G-Butts is an action star to win his freedom. HOWEVER, southern Georgia Dexter is NOT HAVING IT GUYS!!! I loved this movie for its terrible plot holes but it was a fun F’ing ride to watch regardless. Hopefully they make a sequel where Dexter is controlled by the same kid, Simon, who is also Poseidon’s son apparently but not in this movie, to murder evil people. Review done…

The Last Action Hero (1993)

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
It’s so strange to me that this movie tanked at the box office. This is one of the most entertaining movies I’ve seen, and it comes with a message that even children understand. In this movie Schwarzenegger plays a movie hero. One of his biggest fans, a boy, gets sucked into the movie with him. While in the movie the boy sees first hand that what happens in movies is completely unrealistic. When Schwarzenegger and the boy get pulled form the movie into real life, the opposite occurs and Schwarzenegger gets to see the real life is not like the movies. If you get shot, you get hurt and might die. If you shoot your gun at a car it doesn’t explode. If you punch a window, it actually hurts. And women in real life? Well, they’re not all super models. Etc.

It’s one of those movies that everyone in Hollywood wanted to be in and so there are loads of very famous actors and actresses in it. It’s funny. It’s exciting. It’s very tongue-in-cheek.

White Chicks (2004)

Worth it for the Terry Crews dance scene alone.

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
This is the funniest movie ever. I enjoy the way it “offends” absolutely everyone…black/white, rich/poor, male/female, Republican/Democrat, fat/skinny, it is just the greatest. The humor is sophomoric but when I want to watch a comedy, I can let go and be a bit over-the-top ridiculous! It is one of the best comedies and I watch it at least once a week. Yes, the premise is unbelievable, but do not be so uptight and just enjoy the movie for what it is…comedic brilliance!!

Face/Off (1993)

Or really any Nicholas Cage movie here. The Wicker Man, The Rock, or Con-Air are all solid options for a good time.

Some Random Amazon Reviewer’s Take:
Face Off is a twisty, gut turning revolutionary film of its time.
It provokes human emotion, and sometimes claustrophobic reaction to a dilemna which no one can foresee happening.
Its a who’s who crisis mixed with Intel, superbly staged fight scenes, and a realness to the acting which shows that older movies really didn’t rely on special effects for their punch, but on clever lighting, acting, and drama.

A must see, you will be baited, hooked, let off the line and rehooked from beginning to end
until you feel like you don’t really know if you would have been criminal, CIA, FBI or just plain undercover in this movie.
It all becomes so confusing yet crystal clear.


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